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B's Birthday

1/29/2015

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The days before our baby B arrived, I woke up every morning thinking to myself, "Maybe today is the day!"  and I would climb into bed every night thinking, "Well, maybe tomorrow."  I knew my baby would come when he/she was ready (we didn't know the babe's gender) so I tried to distract myself as much as possible while waiting.  I cleaned the house, organized the nursery, went to the gym, watched every episode of New Girl on Netflix, soaked in the bath while reading Ina May, bounced on my birth ball, drank lots of red raspberry leaf tea, baked the baby a birthday cake (lemon bundt cake to be specific--thank you, Pinterest!).  I tried remaining positive, knowing this was a special time between my husband, J, and I.  It would only be just the two of us for a little while longer, and soon we would be a family of three.  It was a surreal concept that I couldn't quite wrap my head around, and despite it being unknown territory I was very excited.  

We planned to birth our babe at home with the help of a certified professional midwife.  We also hired an amazing doula, who is also a close friend, to assist us at the birth.  We rented a birth pool and did a couple of test runs to make sure we knew how to use it.  I made birth affirmations and placed them on the wall behind the pool, knowing that these positive mantras would help carry me through labor.  I made a playlist and day dreamed of bringing my baby earth side while the sweet and slow music played in the background.  Our home birth supplies were neatly stacked in the co-sleeper that sat in our bedroom.  I thought, "Any day now, baby.  We're ready for you!"  

Day 1-
On the morning of January 16 around 1am, I woke up to mild contractions.  At the time, I wasn't calling them contractions as I didn't really know what 'contractions' felt like.  Basically, I was really crampy.  I would get up about every hour until 8am or so to pee and work through the crampiness.  The cramps were mild enough that I was able to doze off once I climbed into bed.  I continued on throughout the day with all of the activities that kept me busy throughout the week before (exercising, baking, Netflix binging, etc.)  My contractions were spaced out but present throughout the day and into the evening.  I had lost part of my mucus plug the day before so I knew something was happening.


PictureBelly getting lower and lower...
Day 2-
Did the same damn things I did on Friday.  Woke up frequently throughout the night due to crampiness and having to pee often.  Cleaned the house and ran some errands.  In the afternoon, J and I went to Gandolfo's for lunch.  The seats were incredibly uncomfortable and hard.  I was having consistent contractions and I'm sure people were starting to stare (No one else was deep breathing during their lunch!)  J said I pulled it off like a champ, but I didn't believe him.  We went downtown and walked up and down Kirkwood and stopped by Hartzell's for ice cream.  Still very crampy, I thought to myself, "YES!  It's happening.  This baby is coming."  By the way, there are a lot of cool celebrities born on January 17 so, naturally, I had an inkling today would be the day.


Day 3-
I'm still pregnant.  I, again, woke up right around 1am on Sunday morning with those annoying contractions.  I knew these contractions were helping my body prepare for baby but I was so over it.  Up every hour but this time, it only felt good to sit on the toilet.  I didn't want to move!  I tried to stay in bed until 8am or so but I don't think I got much sleep.  Is this cramping helping my cervix move forward?  Helping it to thin and shorten?  Am I dilating?  My childbirth educator/doula brain would take over and I couldn't turn it off.  I reminded myself that even if I couldn't sleep, it was important to rest as much as possible.  I was hoping I was in early labor but didn't want to get my hopes up. 

J came home from training clients at the gym and brought me Cresent donuts for breakfast (yep, my husband/ personal trainer brought me donuts.  That's love.)  I continued to cramp throughout the morning, and later on, we decided to go back to Gandolfo's for lunch (the food there is good but you know, we had coupons to use up).  Those seats!! They were so hard and uncomfortable.  I had only taken a few bites out of my sandwich before realizing I no longer wanted to be at Gandolfo's.  J offered to wrap up my sandwich while I went to the bathroom.  I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes and they were lasting around 40 seconds each.  I was also losing more of my mucus plug.  Of course, I was all like, "Is this early labor?  Active labor?!"  I continuously had to remind myself to get out of my head and focus on the now.  We drove over to the east side of town and walked around the mall for an hour or so.  My contractions were still very close together, so we left the mall and went to Kroger to get some last-minute groceries.  I felt so uncomfortable that I didn't want to go in and decided to sit in the car.  Soon after my husband got out of the car I realized I could not sit still.  I got out and leaned on the car, swayed my hips, and was squatting in the parking lot.  Keep in mind this is the new, swanky Kroger that's always hoppin'.  The waiting felt like forever and I was extremely eager to get home.  I started to vocalize through my contractions and texted our doula once we pulled in the driveway.  She recommended we both sleep as we would probably be up most of the night.

Shortly after climbing into bed for a nap, my husband was out.  Me, on the other hand...I couldn't get comfortable one bit.  I was having a hard time coping but didn't want to wake him up so I ventured off to the opposite end of the house.  I desperately wanted to get in our bath tub but knew that water would not help speed up labor until I was in the thick of it.  Being immersed in warm water in early labor can slow down or stop your contractions.  I decided it was more important that I try to catch up on rest than focus on making contractions more progressive.  Our doula arranged to be over by 7pm.  I was very emotional and cried to J when he woke up.  He calmed me down, reminded me that I was doing a great job, and that our doula would be there soon.  

When our doula arrived, I was in our dimly lit bedroom moaning and swaying.  She encouraged me to do some lunges and offered me sips of water.  I moved to the toilet where she propped me up with pillows and rubbed my back.  It was starting to hurt but in an unusual way-- like it was pulling from underneath my ribs.  I soon realized I had pulled a muscle and thought it may have happened while in the tub.  Soon after, I began throwing up.  I thought, "Yes. Bring it on! I'm sure this puking is helping me open up."  Our doula contacted the midwife and updated her on what was happening--she said she would be over soon.

Around 10pm, our midwife arrived.  Once she walked in, I said, "I'd like to be checked but please don't tell me the number. I just want to know if I can get in the birth pool."  She reminded me I could get in at any time but I didn't want to get in if my cervix wasn't very open.  Upon checking me, she told me that my cervix was very stretchy and the bag of waters was low, but that I should try to stay on my feet for a bit.  I so did not want to hear that.  I felt that my contractions were the strongest when I was sitting at the edge of the couch or on the birth ball, but I knew I also needed to be up working with gravity...so my doula and I put on our jackets and walked laps in the driveway.  Every time I had a contraction, I would grab onto the bumper of a car, squat, and moan loudly.  I'm sure my neighbors loved that.  The sky was filled with so many bright stars and I appreciated that it wasn't a terribly cold night for January.  We did this for about half an hour (I think?) before heading back inside, where I continued to walk laps throughout the house.  When I had a contraction, I would hold onto J and just hang, letting go of all my weight and relaxing as much as possible. 

Picture
Picture
It was around 1 or 2am when my midwife suggested I whip out my hand pump.  My contractions were still very strong but had spaced out immensely.  I remember feeling so drowsy in between surges-- I would wake up at the peak of them and barely be pumping, the pump itself almost falling out of my hands.  Dude, I am so tired.  I hadn't had a great night's sleep since Thursday and looking back, I think I am sleeping better with my newborn than I did the weekend I went into labor..I was *that* tired.  My midwife told me that I was doing a great job and that I should go get in my birth pool.  Oh, I was so happy to hear that.  My doula went into the back bedroom to catch up on sleep and my midwife stayed in the living room while J and I ventured into the bedroom where the birth pool sat.  He sprawled out on the bed as I sat at the edge of the pool, my top half draped over the side.  Soon, the whole house was sleeping.  With every contraction, I whispered things like, "C'mon, baby" and "Ooooopen."  This really helped, as cheesy as it sounds.  Still, my contractions were very spaced out.  The water really took the edge off of my back pain and the pressure I was feeling down low.  I stood up a couple of times in the pool just to make sure the intensity of the contractions was still there.  Oh boy, was it ever.  I think I had been in the pool for an hour or so before I climbed out, wrapped a towel around me, and walked back into the living room.  My midwife, as sweet as ever, asked, "What's up, darlin?"  I told her I wanted to be checked and I wanted to know the number.  I *needed* to know if I had made any progress.

She told me I was at 5 cm. (hooray!)...but I was 5 cm. when she first checked me (noooo!).  I felt so discouraged.  I didn't feel as if I was suffering, but I honestly didn't know how much longer I could keep at it.  I was so tired and more often than not, my back hurt worse than the contractions.  I was having a hard time coping and hated the thought of being checked again, hours later, to find my cervix hadn't changed.  I couldn't understand why my contractions were so far apart--I couldn't relax enough to fully sleep and yet everything we had tried to bring contractions closer together was not cutting it.  And then, like word vomit, I remember blurting out, "I want an epidural.  I think I want to go to the hospital."  I never thought I would say that.  I dreamed of birthing our baby at home.  She agreed that my body may benefit from some pitocin and that she would support me, whatever choice I made.  It was reassuring to hear that, just like I was thinking to myself, this is not characteristic of a straightforward labor.  My baby had been LOA for the past couple of months but maybe something else was going on.  I woke up my husband and told him that I wanted to go to the hospital.  I apologized over and over again.  He consoled me and helped my doula and me pack a bag.  My midwife called into my back-up physician to let him know we were coming in.

The ride to the hospital was the absolute pits.  We parked in the emergency parking garage and I waddled up to the labor and delivery floor.  The nurses asked the annoying, but necessary, questions upon admittance as I sat on a birth ball and leaned over the side of the hospital bed.  My back still aching, I asked J to use some counter pressure and hold a warm rice sock against my lower back.  Lab came in to draw my blood and I was hooked up to IV fluids.  I was informed that the anesthesiologist was at home (I knew that was coming!) and I waited around two hours for him to get there and administer the epidural.  Once it was in place, we all rested for a few hours.  The epidural brought so much relief-- even the pain from my pulled muscle was gone.  It was incredible!  My doula went home and we told her we'd call when things started to progress.  I found out that one of my friends would be working day shift and requested for her to be my nurse at shift change. 

Picture
All set up to push!
I think it was around 8 or 9am when the nurse midwife stopped in (the back-up physician was on-call for the OR that day) and talked to us about our options.  She offered to break the bag of waters but I declined.  We decided that pitocin was the next best step.  Around 10:30am, the nurse checked me to find my cervix was 7 cm. dilated and my bag of waters was bulging (literally out of my vagina.  Wish I got a picture of that!).  As she was checking me, my water popped!  The epidural is a crazy concoction of drugs and I didn't feel a thing--it was totally wild.  It was strong enough to numb my lower half and yet I could lift my legs and wiggle my toes.  A couple more hours went by when the nurse came in to see how things were going.  I told her I was feeling some pressure and, sure enough, my cervix was 10 cm. dilated and the baby's head was on my perineum!  Our midwife contacted our doula and she was back by my side in no time.
Picture
Picture
The nurse and nurse midwife started to set up the room for birth, and I got into a side-lying position.  My midwife supported one of my legs while my husband stood by my head, offering sips of water between pushes.  My doula quietly snapped pictures of the whole experience.  As he crowned, I reached down and touched the top of his head.  He's really coming out!  Finally!  The nurse midwife asked if I wanted to bring him up onto my chest and I happily said, "Yes!"  In less than an hour, he was here.  I reached down to bring him up to my chest as "Heavenly Day" by Patty Griffin was playing...it was a moment I will never forget.  B was born with a nuchal hand (left hand up by his face), which is what probably caused my terrible back pain.  8 pounds, 11 ounces and 21 inches long...born at 1:34pm on MLK, Jr. Day.  I'm not quite sure how he ever fit inside me--the things a woman's body is capable of are truly amazing.

Despite our transport to the hospital, I had a wonderful birth experience.  I felt fully supported the entire time and had the dream team by my side during delivery.  I was able to advocate for myself.  I was listened to and treated with respect.  I am thankful for the tools the hospital offers that are not available in the home setting-- they can work wonders when you need them.  Maybe next time we'll birth our baby at home, but right now, I am content focusing on our new, amazing son.  I'm grateful that both my baby and I are healthy, that there were no major complications, and that I've had a smooth postpartum recovery.  Birth is an unpredictable life event that you will remember forever, but it's only the beginning of something much, much bigger.  My heart is whole
as I sit here typing our story and nursing my little guy.  I can't wait to see what the future has in store for us.
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Labor Progress:  Part 1

7/9/2012

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Let’s talk about labor progress, shall we?  I am in awe of how women work with their bodies during labor and birth, especially because of the major changes happening throughout the process.  But labor progress isn’t an “all or nothing” type of thing.  A pregnant woman’s body can begin to “prep” for labor long before baby signals, “I’m making my way out!”  When an expectant gal visits her care provider days or weeks before her estimated due date, the main point of progress discussed is dilation.  But there is so much more to it than that!  If you want to know more about your baby and the changes happening in your body, think about talking with your doc or midwife about these questions:

What position is my baby in?
I cannot emphasize enough how important positioning is!  The position of your baby in utero will influence labor and birth much more than baby’s size.  That’s right.  All you ladies with small hips and measuring 5 feet tall, you can totally birth a big baby.  But what if that big baby is posterior…or breech?  That’s where things may get difficult.  Getting baby into an optimal position (left occiput anterior to be exact) can make labor go much more smoothly.  I could go on and on about this subject, but it truly deserves to be a blog post in itself!  If you’re looking for more information on baby’s positioning, please visit the Spinning Babies website. 

What position is my cervix in?
Throughout most of your pregnancy, your cervix will be high and posterior (pointing towards your back).  As progress is made, your cervix will eventually move down and take on an anterior position (facing forward).  Robin Weiss, Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator, recently stated, "Many women can tell when the cervix begins to move around because when a vaginal exam is performed it no longer feels like the cervix is located near her tonsils." :)

What station is my baby at?
The station of your baby is based on where the top of baby's head is located.  Measurement ranges from a -4 station (high up or "floating") to a +4 station (baby is OUT!).  Most of the descent happens during the pushing phase of labor.

How soft is my cervix?
 Softening, or ripening, of the cervix will help it become more pliable.  The softening is caused by a release of hormones and the production of prostaglandins.  It is said that a non-pregnant woman's cervix feels like the firm tip of a nose, while a softened cervix feels like an overripe fruit.  Fun fact:  Semen contains prostaglandins and can make the cervix softer. 

Is my cervix effaced?
Effacement, also known as the thinning and shortening of the cervix, is measured in percentages.  A cervix at 0% is not effaced at all; one at 50% is halfway effaced.  A cervix that is 100% effaced is completely thinned out (you may hear of this cervix being “paper thin.”)  The average cervix is 1-2 inches in length, but will shorten as it becomes more effaced.  

How dilated is my cervix?
Dilation, or opening, of the cervix is measured in centimeters (0 cm. being not dilated at all and 10 cm. being completely dilated).  Most of us are unfamiliar with the structure or shape of the cervix, so it’s hard to picture exactly what complete dilation looks like.  I like sharing this visual guide (below), because it gives you everyday items to compare dilation with. 

Keep in mind that these things do not happen in any specific order.  While it is nice to be informed of these changes, having one or more present doesn't promise a baby today, tomorrow, or even a week from now.  If baby is not ready to greet the world, then it doesn’t matter if mama's cervix is 4 cm. dilated or 100% effaced.  Babies don't care about their due dates.  When baby has reached maximum growth inside of the womb and the placenta no longer meets her nutritional needs, that's when she will begin to let mama know it's time for her to be born. 
Picture
Picture
Positioning, effacement, softening, and dilation of the cervix are four of the six ways that labor progresses.  The first three may happen days or even weeks before labor actually begins.  Once you are in labor, your cervix will dilate to completion (10 centimeters), your baby will rotate her head and tuck chin to chest, and her head will mold and descend to be born. 

If you are pregnant and nearing your due date, please understand that there is so much going on in your body besides cervical dilation.  The process seems complex, but your body knows just what to do.  Trust it, nourish it, and be present.  Your baby will be here in good time. 

Please stay tuned for Parts 2 & 3 of "Labor Progress," as we will be discussing the signs of labor as well as how to keep labor moving once it's here. 

Thanks for reading!
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