Tips for the New Mom

Our culture places a large focus on pregnancy and birth, but what about the postpartum period?  Unfortunately, mainstream media idolizes the perfect postpartum body and bouncing back rather quickly in the fourth trimester.  So, how does a new mama survive?  These are a few tips that came to mind as a perinatal educator and mom:

1. Set up a meal train
   I cannot stress this one enough!  Sure, there may be days where your baby takes that extra long nap and you feel like being in the kitchen.  But there will definitely be days where it's 6pm and you look at each other and go, "Huh. So...what are we eating for dinner?"  That's where a meal train comes in handy, or even prepping and freezing meals while you're pregnant.  There will be plenty of times you'll breathe a sigh of relief when you know someone is bringing you food, or when there's good stuff waiting to be eaten in your freezer.  Less time cooking and more time just focusing on being a new parent.  
2. Eat and drink accordingly
   Sometimes we get so sucked into taking care of our littles that we forget to take care of ourselves.  Make sure you're drinking plenty of fluids and eating when you're hungry.  Have easy snacks around- bonus points if you can eat it with one hand.  I always suggest setting up a nursing station with snacks, drink, and some sort of entertainment.  You could be there a while and it really is the pits when you have to get up to grab something mid-nursing session. 
3. Communicate
   Talk about how you're feeling.  Having open lines of communication with your partner and care provider are crucial. Unfortunately, there's a stigma around mental illness and many moms don't get the help they need when suffering from postpartum mood disorders.  I believe the more we share our stories of postpartum depression and talk honestly about motherhood, the more mothers will feel supported and listened to.  And the more we talk about it, the more professionals will research, understand, and help those who are struggling.   
   
4. Make time for relationship with partner
   It doesn't have to be anything fancy, but you gotta be there for your partner.  In a dream world, we could reconnect on dates every week.  How awesome would that be?  But that's usually not the case- for lack of time, money, resources, etc.  But what about a hug?  A cup of coffee?  A suggestion like, "You go take a nap and I'll watch the kids for a bit."  These are all ways of saying, "I love you."  Little humans are time consuming but don't forget to reconnect with your sweetie from time to time.     
   
5. Partner involvement
   Speaking of partners....check in with them and see how they're doing with their new role as a parent. I know this can be difficult, as you've already got a million new things you're juggling with as a new mom.  I have heard of plenty of partners who are a little saddened that they do not have that special connection that breastfeeding brings between mom and baby.  That are so proud of mom and want to support her however they can.  Partner and baby can bond in many ways that don't have to do with feeding, like:  babywearing, taking a walk, stories and songs, etc.  Partner may not be able to nurse baby but having someone who can share parenting responsibilities can lighten the load for mama.     
   
6. Arrange postpartum support
   You won't regret it.  Whether it be a family member or friend, reach out and ask for help.  Try to do this prenatally if you can, as having a postpartum plan in place will make things go more smoothly.  If folks insist on stopping by to visit, put them to work!  Ask them to help with the dishes, the laundry, your pets.  ATTENTION VISITORS:  Holding the baby is not always the most helpful thing to a new mom!  Also, postpartum doulas are awesome and can help you with tasks like baby care, feeding, household tasks, etc.  They can also connect you to amazing resources in your community, maybe even ones you didn't know existed! 
   
7. Meet with a lactation consultant
   I would highly suggest a prenatal visit with a lactation consultant if you are not already planning on taking a prenatal breastfeeding class.  At the end of your time with the LC, schedule a follow-up appointment after birth.  Maybe things are going great with nursing, maybe they aren't.  Either way, you will have a professional available who can validate, assess, and make recommendations.  We were made to breastfeed our babies but it's not always intuitive to know how.   
   
8. Side-lying nursing
   Speaking of breastfeeding, practice side-lying whenever you get the chance.  This position will be a lifesaver when your little one is cluster feeding during growth spurts and in the early postpartum period.  Baby will get fed and you'll get more sleep!  Win-win for everyone.  Not to mention the convenience and closeness it encourages. Helloooo, oxytocin!  
   
9. Buy a baby carrier
   Babies love to be held, so hold them.  There are tons of baby carriers out there, and I would even suggest trying them out prenatally to find the one that feels best for you.  We used a Solly Wrap in the early postartum period and then moved onto using an Ergo full-time once baby was big enough.  Our kid loves it and we love it.  Easy to use, comfortable, and your hands are free to multitask.  
   
10. Sign up for an Amazon Prime account
    I say this half-jokingly, but Amazon has really saved our butts a few different times.  A Prime account means free, 2 day shipping.  As long as you don't need it ASAP, you can order in the convenience of your own home and it's shipped to your door in a timely manner.  I personally love it because it's not always the easiest getting out with a toddler and baby to run errands, especially in the winter weather.  I will add it's also a little dangerous as I've bought many items during the middle-of-the-night nursing sessions.  Join at your own risk! ;) 
    

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So, that's my list.  What do you think?  What really helped you with adjusting to your new normal in the postpartum period?